She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
