her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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