I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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