shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pray to the hookup gods
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
