Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
