Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize