Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
