Little spoons don't ask big questions
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize