Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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