Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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