I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
