just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
