MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
