Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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