she was so not down for the gang bang
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did i just pee glitter
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
