When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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