Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
