babies were throwing up all over the place
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
