I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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