so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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