This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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