I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
