Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
bring money and cleavage
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
