I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
