I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
