We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
