is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
