pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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