Nicole vs. Life
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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