Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
