Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
