I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
