is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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