where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
