I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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