I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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