stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
