in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
