Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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