it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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