The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just had sex on a roof
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
