i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
