No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
