C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
