she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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