yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
