Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
