I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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