areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
