SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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