i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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