Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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