Pants 0. Shit 1.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize