you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
