It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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