so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize