So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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