so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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